After that we went inside the theatre where Abhi sat beside me, Ayesha sat next and next to her was her boyfriend. Ayesha was making out with her boyfriend and her moans were making me horny and sad too as I thought I would never be loved by a man. Abhi sensed my discomfort and asked me, “if you’re feeling uncomfortable shall we sit somewhere else?”. I stared at him blankly, then he said, ” Don’t worry I won’t even touch you”. Then I nodded and said, “Yeah let’s move”. The theatre was partially empty and we moved a few rows ahead. Abhi and I had a very good talk and we became very good friends. I realised I was in love but also felt instantly sad as I could never make him mine and feared if telling the truth makes him leave me. Then one day he suddenly proposed me and I instantly burst out crying. I said I loved him too but I was also sorry that I could never give myself to him. He asked me why and then I told him the truth that I am a transsexual. And then I had the most beautiful. We never went to her place and I never asked why, mainly because I liked her being in my space. I went to the kitchen, ground some beans and made some coffee and when I got back to her you may imagine my astonishment when I found her in tears. I sat beside her and held her gently to me but didn’t ask what was the matter. I knew somehow that she was going to tell me. She wiped her eyes, using the front of my blouse, and looked at me. ‘I don’t want to embarrass you.’ I said nothing. ‘All your mates at work would think I wasn’t good enough for you. I don’t know stuff like you do, I don’t talk properly and I don’t dress like you do.’ This last was true. I have mentioned before that the only time I saw her in a dress was when she had her interview for the job at the gallery. ‘They’d all laugh at you and that’s what I couldn’t stand.’ I kissed her mouth. This was not easy. I’d never seen this vulnerable side to her and I had no idea how to handle it. It was, of course, nonsense. My.
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